Wednesday, 19 April 2017

1. BRA और BAR ये दो शब्दों में अक्षर तो वही हैं पर इन में एक बात खास यह है कि...
पुरुष इन दोनों के खुलने का, बडी बेसब्री से इंतजार करते रहते हैं।

2. लड़का: काम कैसा चल रहा है आजकल?
लड़की: काम कम है, बैठे-बैठे कुर्सी तोड़ रही हूँ यार।
लड़का: आ जाओ, पलंग तोड़ते हैं।

3. सुनसान गली में “लडका”सुसु कर रहा था, “एक लड़की डर के रुक गई।”
लडका बोला, “आप निकल जाओ बहन जी, आप जिससे डर रही हो, उसको मैंने पकड़ रखा है।

4. लड़की: मुझे बड़ी ठंड लग रही है, मेरे दोनों हीटर को छु लो!
लड़का: अभी भी ठंड लग रही है क्या?
लड़की: अबे घोन्चु, नीचे प्लग तो लगा।

5. टीचर: पप्पू, सच-सच बता वर्ना चड्डी उतार के बेंत से मारूंगी।
पप्पू: मैडम, सारी गलती तो मेरी है। आप क्यों चड्डी उतारती हैं?

6. प्रेमी: मुझे एक किस दे दो!
प्रेमिका: नहीं अगर मैं गर्भवती हो गई तो?
प्रेमी: किस करने से गर्भवती नहीं होते!
प्रेमिका: नहीं, अगर मैं एक बार शुरू हो गई तो उसके बाद में अपने आप की भी नहीं सुनती!


Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Popular Quotes

1. My favorite things in life don’t cost any money.
It’s really clear that the most precious resource
we all have is time.

2. Quality is more important than quantity.
One home run is much better than two doubles.

3. The biggest risk is not taking any risk...
In a world that changing really quickly,
the only strategy that is guaranteed to
fail is not taking risks.

4. Move fast and break things.
Unless you are breaking stuff,
you are not moving fast enough.

5. We cannot solve our problems with
the same thinking we used when we created them.

6. Rule No.1: Never lose money.
Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.


Saturday, 25 March 2017


Most Popular Inspirational Quotes from A.P.J Abdul Kalam

“Don’t take rest after your first victory because if you fail in second, more lips are waiting to say that your first victory was just luck.”

“All Birds find shelter during a rain. But Eagle avoids rain by flying above the Clouds.”

“If you want to shine like a sun. First burn like a sun.”

"Look at the sky we are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work"

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Quotes About Life

  1. “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
  2. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
  3. “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
    ― Robert Frost
  4. “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
  5. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
    ― Mark Twain
  6. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  7. “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
  8. “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
  9. “Everything you can imagine is real.”
    ― Pablo Picasso
  10. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
    ― Albert Einstein
  11. “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
    ― George Bernard Shaw

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Hindi Jokes

  1. मुकेश अम्बानी : अगर मै सुबह से
    अपनी कार में निकलू तो शाम तक
    अपनी आधी प्रॉपर्टी भी नहीं देख
    सकता
    संता : हमारे पास भी ऐसी खटारा
    कार थी। …. बेच दी.

  2. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  3. टीचर – छोटी मधुमक्खी तुम्हे क्या देती है?
    बच्चे – शहद!
    टीचर – पतली बकरी?
    बच्चे – दूध!
    टीचर – और मोटी भैंस?
    बच्चे – होमवर्क.
    दे…थप्पड़ पे थप्पड़.
  4. .....................................................................
  5. लड़की की शादी तय हुई तो
    माँ बेटी को खाना बनाना सीखा रही थी
    बेटी – माँ, शाही पनीर में कोई एक आध चीज़ रह जाये
    तो कोई प्रॉब्लम तो नहीं होगी ना ?

    माँ – नहीं बेटी कोई बात नहीं
    बेटी ओह्ह चलो ठीक है
    .
    .
    मैं शाही पनीर में पनीर डालना भूल गई थी
  6. ...........................................................................................
  7. Exam hall

    गर्ल-5वे सवाल का जवाब पता हे
    बॉय-हाँ,ये वाला हे देख लो
    बॉय-9वे सवाल का जवाब पता हे
    गर्ल - Excuse Me, I have a Boyfriend

  8. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  9. पप्पू से टीचर ने

    11 लिखकर दिखाने को कहा, लेकिन वह लिख नहीं पाया...

    क्योंकि...

    उसकी समझ में नहीं आ रहा था कि कौन सा वाला 1 पहले लिखा जाएगा??

  10. हमें तो नो बॉल ने लूटा,
    उनमें कहा दम था,
    पैर भी पड़ा वहाँ ,
    जहाँ चूना कम था।।

  11. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  12. Teacher : bahut tez hawao ke sath barish ho rahi hai…!! iska bhawishya kaal batao??? Pappu : Ab light jaegi…!!
  13. Biwi bathroom se naha ker nikli toh uska Pati use ghoor raha tha.. Biwi ne Romantic andaaz mein kaha: ” kya iraada hai Janaab ” Pati paas aakar use zor se do Thappad maare aur bola.. Mere garam pani se kyon nahai??

  14. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  15. Saali : Jija ji Sasural mein Daamad ko sabse
    jyada sammaan kyo milta hai??
    Jija : Kyonki ve jaante hai yhi woh mahan aadmi
    hai jisne unke “Ghar ke Tufaan” ko sambhal rakha hai!!

  16. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  17. 12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia
    Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
    Wo Ghabra K Bhaga
    Ladki Ne Pucha:
    Kya Hua
    Ladka:
    Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

  18. Sir-"Samundar Mein Nimbu ka Ped Ho To Tum Kaise Todoge?"
    Santa -"Chidiya Bankar."
    Sir-"Aadmi ko Chidiya Tera Baap banayega!"
    Santa-"Samundar Mein Ped Aapka baap lagayega!"

  19. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  20. UNKNOWN CALL-
    HE:"Do u hv a bf?"
    SHE :"Yes! Who r u?"
    HE:"Tera bhai..Ruk kamini gahr aata hu dhulai krne!"
    ANOTHER UNKNOWN CALL-
    HE"Do u hv a bf?"
    SHE -"Oh no no! Who r u?"
    HE-"I m ur bf..Cheat u broke my heart!"
    SHE -"Oh darling sorry I thought u r my bro!"
    HE-"Tera bhai hi hu kamini....Aaj to bas ghar aane ki der hai!"

  21. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  22. 5th class ka student apne dost se: Kitna MuskiL H SchooL Ki "Teacher" Se Pyar Karna,
    2 Dost: kyun?
    "LOVE-LETTER" Beja Tha...
    Home Work Samz Ke Check kar DIA.
  23. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Buddha Quotes

  1. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
  2. Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
  3. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
  4. Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.
  5. The mind is everything. What you think you become.
  6. To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.
  7. You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
  8. We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
  9. Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
  10. Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.